Instant Progress

Well, progress on the Project has  been a little slow over the last couple of months, but I think I have a decent excuse.  I started a new job a couple of months ago, and it has kept me more than busy.  Unfortunately, it isn't a job that I find very interesting or enjoyable, but it is an income, and will certainly do for now.  Given the state of the economy, and the length of my unemployment prior to this position, I really can't complain (or perhaps I shouldn't complain-- I plan to continue complaining at great length).

Anyway, progress has been made.  I hadn't added yoga to "the list" yet, but it has been something I've thought about doing for many years now (much like the Zen retreat).  I own several yoga books and videos, had a subscription to Yoga Journal for a couple of years (three, actually, I think), and even have a yoga mat.  So, with all of that preparation, and after thinking about it for years, this morning I had my first actual yoga class.  Progress. 

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(Lack Of) Progress Report #1

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.  That's the saying, right?  I suppose it shouldn't be at all surprising that I haven't made much progress yet.  No interesting new hobbies have yet been adopted, no groundbreaking life changes have been made.  But then, I didn't really expect them to be--not yet at any rate.  The first essential step in any kind of project like this is to make the necessary internal changes; to get in the right mind-set.  And once that is completed, then the other small, but significant changes have to be made.

So, I'm still at the beginning of this journey, still making those tentative first few steps.  What that means, of course, is that I'm still figuring things out-- what new habits to adopt, what old ones to abandon.  And more importantly, struggling with that abandonment.  Change is not easy--especially not when the things that you propose to change are habits that have grown up over a period of many years.  Simply put--I'm in a mire, and the "time-wasters" I identified in the last post are still a big part of my daily routine.  So, today is the day that I put an end to them (or, at least, start to put an end to them).   Being more thoughtful and conscious of how I use my time is, for the time-being, my highest priority.

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Time Wasters

The modern world has made it incredibly easy to "kill time."  And killing time gets easier every day.  The tragic irony being, of course, that most people feel that they don't have enough time.  Not enough time to better themselves, or to do what they really want in life.  Not enough time to really live. Facebook, video games, television, the internet... how easy is it to kill a day, a week, a year?

When we're killing time, we're killing ourselves.  Wasting time is wasting life.  Think, for a moment, of all the things that you want to accomplish in life, but haven't.  The unwritten novel, or the untried hobby.  How much richer would your life be if you had done those things?  Did those things remain undone because you just didn't have time to do them?  Did they remain undone because you had to squeeze in one more minute of Bejeweled Blitz, or one more dungeon run in World of Warcraft?  Because you always watch TV from 7-10 every night, because that's what you've done since you were a kid?

I think that Time Wasters are some of the biggest obstacles to living a well-rounded life.  No one ever wrote the Great American Novel while playing Modern Warfare2.  No one becomes a "Renaissance Man" (or Renaissance Woman) by filling their life with fleeting distractions, meaningless occupations, and wasteful, habitual obligations.  People become well-rounded, interesting and exciting--first and foremost--by making mindful decisions about how they spend their time (or perhaps, by drinking Dos Equis...).  So... the next step in my little experiment in life design and self-improvement is to eliminate time-wasters.  That is going to be easier said than done, but then, isn't all of this? 

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Velocity

I like cars.  I always have.  In fact, when I was younger I was quite fanatical about the subject.  I read Car & Driver, Road & Track, and Motor Trend as if they were holy writ.  Every month, cover to cover. (And amazingly, despite that, my technical understanding of automobiles remains pitiful).

But, somewhere along the way, I started to lose my passion for things automotive.  Or, perhaps it is better to say, it got stifled.  At some point I must have come to the conclusion that I was never going to be able to afford a Ferrari (or anything fun to drive for that matter).  The vicissitudes of life wore me down and I stopped paying attention to cars.  Well, not entirely....  I still loved to drive, I still appreciated good styling and engineering excellence, I still... wanted to go fast.  When I got my current reasonably priced, low performance, basic transportation domestic car I insisted on a manual transmission.  If I couldn't drive a high performance sports car, at least I could pretend.  But, I was no longer a "car-guy," but simply a guy who could (if I do say so myself) tease the absolute best performance out of my low priced people mover.

I blame Jeremy Clarkson.  If my next car is something completely impractical, but fun, I'm sure he'll be to blame (and he should be, and would be, proud).  I don't know exactly when I discovered Top Gear.  The first time I watched the show, it was purely because there was absolutely nothing else on.  I wasn't enthusiastic about it; after all, I was no longer a "car-guy".  But the show is addictive.  You can't help but be overwhelmed by the obvious passion that Clarkson, Richard Hammond, and James May have for cars.  And it reminded me how I had once been the same way, and more importantly, why.  I kept watching, and watching, and watching.  And you know what?  My dormant inner car-guy awoke. I missed him.  I'm glad he's back.  And I want to treat him.

This project is all about being the best "me" I can be.  So, if I'm going to embrace my inner car guy, if I'm going to let him out, if I'm going to be that guy again, I should be the best possible version of that guy possible.  Which means this-- I think I'm a very good driver, but there is always room for improvement.  I want to be the best driver I can possibly be, and I want to have fun doing it.  Learning to drive better is a slightly more expensive proposition than doing a Zen retreat.  Skip Barber's three day racing program runs around $4000.  But for three days of top notch instruction at Laguna Seca, I'd say that is well worth it.

So, once it's financially viable, I'm off to do some high performance driving.

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Routine

I'm tired.  Very tired.  As I sit here typing this at my friendly neighborhood Panera Bread Co., I'm bleary-eyed and foggy.  I'm sure that I'll look back at these first few posts from a point in the future and marvel at how badly and inartfully they are written.  I just don't feel that I'm expressing myself very well, and that is largely because of fatigue.

It is no secret that sleep deprivation lowers mental acuity.  It is becoming increasingly clear that a lack of proper sleep can lead to all sorts of negative health consequences.  Last night I was up until approximately 4 a.m.  It is really difficult to sleep late enough to overcome the negative consequences of staying up that late. 

Ben Franklin was right, at least partly.  I'm not sure if a good sleep routine will necessarily make one wealthy or wise, but science would suggest that healthy is a pretty good bet.  And wealth and wisdom are probably much easier to acquire when one can form a coherent thought, and isn't too tired to work or play.

So, long story short, some sort of daily routine is in order for "the Project."  Tonight will be the first night.  Wish me luck.  (And stay tuned for more on routine-- outside of simply sleeping and waking).

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Organization

I have always been notoriously un-organized. This has caused no small number of problems over the years. The lack of organization is really a small part of a bigger problem: the lack of self-discipline. If I'm going to accomplish anything in this effort to better myself I have to start with some big underlying issues, and there is none bigger than this. Perhaps some people can be efficient and accomplished in the midst of chaos, but it is very clear to me that I am not one of those people. If this project is going to go anywhere, I'm going to have to learn some self-discipline and get organized. I'll need to set priorities and stick to them, and keep the distractions to a minimum.

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Zen Retreat

I've wanted to do this since I first read The Three Pillars of Zen nearly twenty years ago. I've always imagined doing this in Japan, and--eventually-- I'd like to, but for the time being I'll try to be more modest in my aspirations.

A month at Zen Mountain Monastery in New York is just $750. That's right, less than the rent for most apartments in Kansas City. And that includes food. (Of course it does-- if you know anything about Zen you know that there isn't going to be a lot of eating out during a month long retreat.) Add in air and bus fare and the total cost of the adventure is somewhere in the neighborhood of $1100-$1200. Not bad for a month-long and potentially life changing experience.

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